So you want to indulge in a treat … after all, this is the time of year where there are sweets and treats around every corner.  This is also the time of the year when stress is higher than normal as discussed in my last article, “Avoid the Holiday Meltdowns”.  With stress often comes over eating and/or binge eating.

I want to share a little trick I use to help curtail this kind of binge eating.  Keep in mind that this “trick” I use does not address the root problem.  That will be saved for another article.  This really isn’t even a trick at all but more of a special treatment.

What I want to share with you today allows you to indulge in a healthier way that, if done properly with the right mindset, can actually be a self-care activity. It’s very simple and fun.

Decide on a treat that you really want.  Don’t be mindless about it.  For example I made Pumpkin Cream Cupcakes the other night.  Oh my goodness!  They are so good! (I’ve included the recipe below.) They remind me of the Pumpkin Cream Cheese Muffins from Starbucks, which I love.  I could easily eat several in one setting if I’m not careful, so to avoid that kind of a binge eating I create “a moment”.

As you can see in the picture above, I created a beautiful holiday setting for eating one (not two, three or even four!) Pumpkin Cream Cupcake. I watched a holiday movie in this setting but sometimes I will play soothing music or sneak away to a quiet place in the house.

A very important aspect of this activity is to be in the moment and use your five senses while indulging in the treat.  Talk about an enjoyable stress reliever!  It feels very special because it is!  It sends a very nurturing message to yourself that you care enough to not binge on your favorite treat while meeting your need to de-stress in a more delightful healthier way.

The next time you feel a binge coming on due to stress or any other reason, allow yourself to indulge in a small treat if you like but create a special moment that tickles your senses.  You will be quite surprised with the results!

Pumkin Cream Cupcakes

From Food & Family Kraft Magazine

www.kraftfoods.com

1 pkg (2-layer size) spice cake mix

1 pkg (3/4 0z) Jell-O Vanilla Instant Pudding

1 cup canned pumpkin

1 pkg (8 oz.) Philadelphia Cream Cheese, softened

1/4 cup sugar

1 egg

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Prepare cake batter as directed on package.  Add dry pudding mix and and pumpkin; mix well.  Spoon into 24 paper-lined muffin cups.

Beat cream cheese with mixer until cream.  Blend in sugar and egg; spoon over batter.  Swirl gently with small spoon.

Bake 18 to 21 minutes or until toothpick inserted in centers comes out clean.  Cool 5 minutes; remove to wire racks.  Cool Completely.

Special Extra:  Stir 1/4 tsp ground nutmeg into 1 1/2 cups thawed Cool Whip; spread over cooled cupcakes.  Keep refrigerated.

There’s a lot going on at this time of the year as we get ready for Christmas.  Stress is at an all time high … wouldn’t you say?  Life is crazy enough but then when you add the holiday “stuff” on top of an already busy schedule?  It spells … m-e-l-t-d-o-w-n!

Ok, girlfriends, how do we avoid the holiday meltdowns this year?!

First of all, stop wherever you are in your holiday preparations and celebrations and think about what you want Christmas to be for you and your family.  Certainly you don’t want it to be all about stress and meltdowns.  I know that my family does not want me to be irritable, resentful, and miserable during a time that is supposed to be about family, love, and celebrations. They told me so many years ago.  It was then that I began to scale down and slow down so that I could enjoy the beautiful season that it is.

Forget the picture perfect Christmas.  Choose one or two things that are most important and focus on those things.  Do you really need a million different kinds of homemade cookies?  No!  Does your house need to look like something out of a magazine?  No! Seriously, keep it all simple so that you can devote the time you do have to those you love in a way that will create beautiful, fun memories.

That takes me to you.  You know how it goes … “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!”  Let’s keep mama happy during this holiday season.  What do you need to do to make that happen?

Yes, scale down the preparations and celebrations.  But also keep up with your self-care activities.  You only need 15 minutes a day – that alone makes such a big difference.  But ya know what? If you need to shut the world out for a while, do so.  Watch your favorite movie, read a book, take a long nap, a bubble bath or whatever you need to do to restore.  These little things make all the difference in the world!

Avoid the holiday meltdowns this year by simplifying and taking a little time to de-stress.  It’s the best Christmas gift you can give to your family and yourself!

Do share your own thoughts and ideas in the comment section below.

In honor of breast cancer awareness month, I encourage you to honor your breasts.

I am forever encouraging people to listen to their bodies and honor their bodies by giving them what they need.  Well what about our breasts?  I know. You get your yearly breast exam by your doctor.  You give yourself a monthly breast self-exam, right?  More than likely you do not because not many women do.  Why?

Dr. Christiane Northrup in “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom” says the following:

“Women’s reluctance (even female nurses and doctors who are supposed to know better) to do breast self-exams is rooted in two things:

1. Fear about what you’re going to find

2. Innate inner guidance that knows that making a breast exam into a ‘search and destroy’ mission is not only counterproductive, it may even be harmful.

By the law of attraction, that which we focus on tends to expand.  So who in their right mind would consciously approach their breasts every month thinking, ‘cancer’?”

Ok, let’s have an honest moment.  Seriously, are you afraid to touch your breasts for fear of what you might find? Some women don’t even want to look at their breasts.  And for some it’s possible to carry emotionally charged issues, like shame, that contributes to ignoring this part of the body.  With that, it’s time to let go!

Ladies, I encourage you to honor your breasts and by doing so you will set into motion a sense of freedom and promote healthy breasts.

Below are a few steps you can take to begin to honor your breasts:

1. Give your breasts positive energy.  Notice what your self-talk is around this area of your body.  Is it negative, berating, neglect?  Notice and if it’s anything but positive, stop, and then change the negative into something positive.

2. Look at your breasts.  It’s ok! And be kind to them.

3. Touch them!  Again, it’s ok!  In a loving way become familiar with your own breasts.

4. I highly encourage you to understand your breasts and learn a lymphatic massage that will promote healthy breasts.  It will send  healing and positive energy to them.  Click on the following link:

Self Care For Your Breasts

As Christiane Northrup said, “By the Law of attraction, that which we focus on tends to expand.”  Because of that I prefer to focus on breast health rather than breast cancer.  I don’t check my breasts each month for cancer rather each time I shower I honor my breasts by performing a self-care breast massage described at the above website.

Because of this massage technique, I am very familiar with my breasts and I’m able to notice if there are any kind of changes.  I also send positive energy, thoughts, and love to that area of my body, which promotes healthy breasts.  You can too!

Beautiful woman, I encourage you to honor your breasts!

Please leave your thoughts and comments below.

Here I sit in the middle of Starbucks sipping my favorite latte, listening to beautiful music … just being … allowing thoughts to come and go … mostly go as I release them onto the pages of my journal.

Release. It’s so important to release the pressures of life. We need to release the stress, the tensions, the worries that tend to build up inside of us. Yes, unless we have a way to let it all go, to release, the “stuff” gets stuck in our bodies causing all kinds of havoc.

Right now, my dear reader, stop. Take a minute or two right now and just stop what you’re doing. Get quiet, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Check in with yourself. Go inside and ask yourself how you’re doing right now in the moment.

What’s the very first answer that comes to your mind? Don’t judge it, accept it whatever it is.

Got your answer? Ok, here we go again. Ready? Take another deep breath. This time ask yourself right now, in the moment… “What do I need?” What’s the very first answer that comes to your mind? Don’t judge it, accept it whatever it is.

With your eyes still closed take another deep breath and just be. Revel in the moment of being.

Release. It’s so important to release the pressures of life.

Now, I challenge you to do whatever it is your body is telling you it needs. Honor yourself, love yourself, give yourself the tender loving care that you so deserve.

Below is a 5 – 10 minute yoga routine that I do daily. It’s a simple, quick way to release the pressures of life. Once you learn this simple routine you can practice it in quietness if you like or set it to relaxing music. For me, it releases the pressures of life, gives me energy yet relaxes me, and it puts a bounce in my step. It’s been known to give me warm fuzzies even! Really! ☺

Give it a try and let me know how it makes you feel.  Remember, take the time to release the pressures of life.  The results will amaze you.

With the right mindset you can turn many everyday activities into a self-care, self-nurturing moment.  All you have to do is learn “being in the moment”.

With a crazy, hectic life “being in the moment” can be quite the challenge.  With taking care of the kids, the house, work, family, etc. we end up running in a thousand different directions leaving our cup not just empty but dry to the bone, and sometimes even cracked.  For some, the thought of adding one more thing to the schedule, like The Wonder Woman Challenge, can send them right over the edge.

How can you make yourself a priority, to express love to yourself, to fill your cup without turning it into a big deal and sending you over the edge?  After all, the point of such activities is to be nurturing and filling to the soul.  Again, the answer is “being in the moment”.  Let’s explore that.

“Being in the moment” is consciously being aware of what you are doing as you are doing it.  It’s being present.  I tell my coaching clients all the time to “notice” because we tend to go through our days mindlessly and often hurried, which means we miss out on so much in our lives.  We also miss the cues our bodies, minds, and souls give us.

If you stop long enough to listen, “being in the moment”, you will not only learn about yourself, but when you are filling your cup you’ll hear and feel the appreciation and love that will exude from within.  Sometimes a little bit of self-care combined with seriously “being in the moment” will cause an emotional reaction.  It’s like receiving a long in coming hug from a loved one.  Let me give you an example.

I practice Mary Kay’s Timewise Skin Care regimen every morning and evening.  It’sdefinitely easy to get into a mindless mindset doing a daily activity like that.  And before bed it’s also easy to moan and complain about the routine because of being so tired even though it only takes a couple of minutes.

Instead, I choose “being in the moment”.  I think about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, what message it’s giving me, and how good it feels.  I think about the fact that I am worth taking care of.  While doing so I notice my thoughts.  While I refuse negative thoughts I will sometimes take note of them if it’s something that needs explored and healed.  Otherwise, out it goes and it’s replaced with something positive and loving.

“Being in the moment” is that simple.  It’s forgetting the schedule, the stress, the craziness and allowing yourself to just be … to be present in that very moment and noticing your thoughts and feelings and being good to yourself.

Changing your mindset to “being in the moment” can definitely turn any simple daily activity into a self-care, self-nurturing moment filling your cup with love, enabling you to freely give to those around you from a point of strength and abundance.

In my coaching appointments probably the number one question I get is “How do I love myself?” or a statement of, “I don’t know what taking care of myself should look like for me”.

I almost always follow up with … “Well what brings you joy?”

Sometimes the person can rattle off a few things but often she doesn’t have a clue.  When you’re used to focusing on everyone and everything else and not care for any of your own needs, you tend to lose yourself.

I ask you, “What brings you joy?”

If you aren’t able to answer that question adequately then it’s time to ponder this question.  It’s time to look within and connect with who you are.  I can hear you asking … “How”?

For some, getting still and quiet and having what I call an honest moment with yourself can stir up some ideas.  You might be able to remember things that you used to do that you enjoyed or things that you always wanted to do or even some things you’ve put on the back burner.  Now is the time to explore those things.

If nothing comes to mind then you will have to start exploring the world around you.  The universe is our playground.  Don’t be afraid to explore it in a way that is not threatening to you and without judgment of yourself.  Just have fun going deeper with the things you find that you like and dropping the things you don’t like.

I was telling a friend today the first thing I did when I began self-care activities.  I took a book and journal to Starbucks.  This was before there were Starbucks on every corner so it was a bigger deal, however, I still love to go to Starbucks! ☺  Anyway, I spent time sipping my favorite latte with pen and paper in hand.  It was heaven.  Then I would go browse a favorite store.  I rarely bought anything; I just loved the ambiance of this one particular store.  It made me feel really good being there and I enjoyed nosing around.  Afterwards I felt like a million bucks!

But here’s the key.  You have to be in the moment.  Most of my activities are all very simple but to get the full benefit you have to be in the moment blocking out your to do list, the argument you had with hubby, the kids, etc. and then soak up the moment you are in with total gratitude appreciating yourself and God if He is a part of your life.  When you get “being in the moment” down, you can turn almost anything you do into a self-care, self-nurturing activity making the 15-minute daily commentment with TWWC very easy.

So I ask you, my dear?  What brings you joy?  Please do share in the comment section below.  If you don’t know then share that and/or what you think might bring you joy.  It’s ok.  Dream a little!

In my next post I’ll share more of my own personal self-care activities … how I can turn simple every day things into special moments.

As I sit at my desk on this beautiful day my heart ponders where I am in this moment feeling very alive to where I was years back feeling dead and depressed.  More than that I find myself pondering what I experienced these last couple of weeks.  I sit in amazement because it really all started when I began to care for and love myself.

I had no idea what brought me joy so I began to explore the world around me in little baby steps.  Never underestimate those tiny gestures like buying yourself a flower, allowing yourself a little time to read for pleasure and/or work on a hobby, sneaking a few minutes away at your favorite cafe, a bubble bath, exercising, etc. … while all at the same time being aware in the moment relishing the time and appreciating yourself.

As I did those things I learned about myself, I tapped into myself, and began to explore bigger things like the Internet.  And, I dared to believe that I could make a difference some how online.  It wasn’t always easy because sometimes my own fear would want to stop me but I persevered as I wanted more in my life and I knew that I was destined for greater things.

Twitter came along as did facebook.  My world continued to open up.  The next thing I knew I started The Wonder Woman Challenge.  And in the middle of all of that (and less than a year ago) I connected with a pastor from Nigeria who quickly became my pastor, my mentor, and my friend.  And just so you understand he actually lives in Nigeria and I’m in the US.  Pretty crazy!

Our hearts resonated and we began to work on projects together.  One thing lead to another and just this past August WD Favour took his first trip off the continent of Africa and visited all of us here in Pittsburgh laying a strong foundation for further work to impact the world.  And here is the kicker!  I’m a part of this world impacting work as are my best girlfriends!!

How can this be??  You could say it’s the law of attraction or the law of agreement and you wouldn’t be wrong.  But it’s my personal belief that the bond we share goes way beyond the natural laws of this world and into the spiritual realm that only God Himself could orchestrate.  Words cannot express the awesomeness of this experience and even what’s to come in the very near future.

Let me take this back around.  When I was dead I had to start some place to lead me out of that position of being a depressed victim.  I had no idea where those initial baby steps would lead me.  I’m sure that if someone had told me that a few years later I would be working with a pastor from Nigeria impacting the world I would have said that they were crazy.  Now that I’m here, I can’t tell you how excited and alive I feel.  I know but I know that greater and bigger things lie ahead of us and I just can’t wait for it to all unfold.

As WD, my pastor and mentor told me long ago and reminded me just a couple of weeks ago … I’ve been waiting my entire life for this experience.  He is so right.  I was created for such a time as this.  It’s a thrill to be alive!

Do you know what you were created for?  Are you ready to come alive in a way that you’ve never experienced before? All you have to do is take the next step that’s right in front of you.  Do you know what that next step is?

For WD’s latest post concerning the impact of his trip click here:  http://wdfavour.com/the-pain-of-parting

When was the last time you felt excited about your life in a way that you knew but you knew you were tapping into something deep within you?  When was the last time you felt alive in this way … I mean really alive?  Maybe you are currently experiencing this kind of excitement.  Maybe you are like so many women I talk with who long for this kind of experience but for various reasons feel it’s impossible to achieve. Or maybe you are somewhere in between.  Where ever you are allow me to encourage you to either hop on the journey or to keep going.

There was a time in my life when I felt dead.  Just getting up in the morning was a big accomplishment.  The thought of any excitement much less an excitement that moved me in a deep way looked and felt like something impossible for me to achieve, yet, in an honest moment with myself I admitted that it was something that I longed for.  However, it really did feel impossible but I had to start somewhere.

In my opinion it all starts with taking care of yourself.  That’s exactly where it started for me.  It sounds crazy but when I began a journey of self-care that’s when my world began to open up.  Why?  Because in order to understand what self-care meant for me I had to begin a journey of self-discovery.  I am still on that journey today and always will be as my journey continues to lead me to incredibly exciting places.

So how did I go from feeling dead to doing 15-minute self-care activities like reading, writing, bubble baths, hanging out at favorite cafes, etc. to now impacting lives around the world along with working side by side with a pastor from Nigeria?  My life has become so rich … yours can too!

I ask you again, when was the last time you felt alive?

Stay tuned for part 2 of “Coming Alive”.

Stepping into your God-given unique design requires courage.

I love The Wonder Woman Challenge website.  It represents me pretty well.  It’s cute, girly, feminine, fun, etc.  Does that mean it’s not relevant?  No, not at all.  It is quite relevant and where it looks like it’s all fun and games, it is far from that.

I keep hearing over and over stories of women who have lost themselves in taking care of their families and responsibilities.  And/or in pleasing everyone but themselves putting everybody else’s needs above their own.  The outcome is always sickness, depression, and unhappiness.  Time and time again I hear a version of this story.

Realize that this does not have to be a way of life for you.  You always, always have choices.

Have you ever considered what you’re designed to be?  Who you are designed to be?  Do you know what makes your heart sing?  What brings you absolute joy in a soulful way?

Stepping into your God-give unique design is a simple decision that will look different for you depending upon where you are on the journey.

1. If you have no idea what your unique design is then your decision is to choose to take the path to discover it.  This requires playful exploration along with personal coaching.  The Wonder Woman Challenge provides both of these elements.

1. If you already know what your God-given unique design is but are not living it out then your decision is to step out in courage and into your design.  This, too, can require coaching and continued self-care strategies to keep you in tune with your needs, desires, and dreams.

Either way, you are one decision away from discovering who are you, which means living a joy-filled life.

If it’s that simple why does it take courage?  Because you are daring to believe that you can be something different than you are right now regardless of your current circumstances.

I can guarantee that you are a beautiful, brilliant, passionate woman waiting to be recognized as such.  It’s all within you.  Take the simple step that’s right in front of you to know, be, and live your God-given unique design.

Which simple decision do you need to make today that will take you to what you were designed to be?  Do you need to begin the discovery journey or are you ready to step into your design and live it?

I would love for you to share where you are on this journey.  Leave a comment below, and as always, please let me know how I might help.

It is amazing what can happen in your life when you pursue and live in your joy.  My self-nurture or self-care journey began during a time in my life when I was depressed, which meant I was certainly out of tune with myself.  When we are not connected with our spirit, with who we are, that disconnect not only leads to depression but can lead to all kinds of illnesses.  You can read more of this story on the About Page.

As my story reads it was the summer of 2006 when it all began to turn around for me.  I began to learn about myself particularly about what brought me joy.  I began to take care of myself by honoring my needs and making myself a priority to me in a healthy, balanced way.  As I began to live in my joy my world opened up.

Even though The Wonder Woman Challenge was conceptualized in 2006 it took two years for it to come into existence.  It did so as I continued to learn about my joy, my dreams, and my desires.  And this all led me on a path to the unexpected as I walked through each door that was presented before me.

What door did I walk through?  What did pursing my God given joy lead me to?

I was asked to be a guest writer for Pastor WD Favour’s Discover Yourself website where he asked me to tell the story.  It truly is an amazing 5-part story that will inspire you.

This Wonder Woman Challenge is not about vanity or selfishness.  It’s about knowing who you are and embracing yourself.  It’s about finding and living in your joy the way God created you in order to let your light shine.

If you want to see just how powerful this 30-day challenge can be and how it can change, yes, even your world then I challenge to read the full story “WD Stories” at Discover Yourself

Next I challenge you to take this 30-day challenge.  If you’ve already have then I challenge you to take it again.

It’s amazing what can happen in your life when you chose to pursue and live in your joy!